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He said: "Anas Sarwar appears to be rubbing some Brasso on his neck this morning, because he is trying to con the people of Scotland into believing he is against the policy when just yesterday on the television he was saying he backs Keir Starmer's position."

Jose Mourinho was hired by Spurs to win trophies – actual ones, that need a bit of soapy water and Brasso from time to time.

And the wrestling match, where a beer bottle squared off against a tin of Brasso?

This game last season was a belter, two bald men fighting over a can of Brasso or somesuch, and we should get something decent this afternoon.

I have tried Brasso and all the other on-the-shelf cleaners.